i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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