Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
