Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
