What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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