But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
