my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
