So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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