I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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