i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
3pm strippers are depressing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
