I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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