Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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