a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
