I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
