ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
