i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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