Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
