There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
