My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
