Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
