Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
