all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize