i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
