You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
