I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
