When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
