We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
