He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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