i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
