Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
