my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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