this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize