he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
