Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
