What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
