I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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