Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize