i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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