Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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