honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
