eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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