Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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