Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
