covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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