we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
