My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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