So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
