I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
