omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize