I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
