You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
and eventually we just all took our pants off
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
