I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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