oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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