Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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