I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize