didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
