how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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