Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
