did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
