Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
