dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
