can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
