My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
