i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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