I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just want to make out with him forever
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
