bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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